An Open Letter to Motherless Mothers: The Silent Struggle is Real

In the stillness of the night, cradling my babies as they drifted off to sleep, my thoughts often turned to the silent struggles of mothers who, like me, navigate the journey without their own mums by their side. It's a silent path filled with solitude, victories tinted with an ache, and a never ending longing that seems to echo through the years.

From the very beginning, at my own birth, I've tread the road of life without my mum. Now, after 14 years of motherhood, I am raising two precious children and the most important role of my life is as their mother. She's never had the chance to hold my babies, to hear their laughter, or to witness the marvel of their first steps.

Becoming a mother without my own mum stirred a storm of emotions within me. Sometimes the waters were still. Other times it felt like an unexpected tsnunami. Going through a premature birth to one over 41 weeks resulting in sleep not longer than a 2.5 hour block for seven months straight. Despite not knowing her, there's was and still is an organic constant yearning for her presence, a hunger for the wisdom and solace a mother should provide. There have been many moments where I question the unfairness of it all, wondering why this journey was chosen for me, and knowing I don't have a choice but to accept it.

I see the tender bonds I'll never share and the stolen moments that fate has cruelly snatched away. Witnessing other mothers in the joy of their own mums' love sometimes stirs a pang of envy within me. I grieve for the childhood I didn't have, the relationship my dad should have been able to enjoy with my mum and the maternal connection left unexplored between us. And deep within, knowing the loving and profound impact my own grandmother had on my life, I ache for the grandmotherly love my children will never experience from her.

Women provide such strength. My grandmother was my pillar of strength and love, her presence weaving warmth and wisdom into the fabric of my upbringing. Her memory serves as my guiding light in all that I do, reminding me of the enduring power of love through generations.

Yet, amidst the shadows, there's a very bright spark of resilience—a resilience passed down to me by the remarkable man who stepped in to raise me, my father. I've learned to treasure the love that surrounds me, especially in the innocent gaze of my precious children. They are my reason to be the best version of myself, my light, showing me that love transcends all barriers and can mend even the deepest wounds.

My journey as a motherless mother, navigating the highs and lows of parenthood without the guiding hand of my own mum, has deeply shaped my path. It's what spurred me to become a sleep consultant, driven by a deep desire to support other mothers who may feel lost in their own sleep journeys, especially those who, like me, are motherless mothers.